2005年01月27日

緊縛

花と蛇。
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RINGを管理巡りしていたらsayakiさんがエントリーにリンクを下さっていて。
ああ、これはエントリーを書くためのネタを提供してくれたんだ!!
嗚呼、女神よ!!と感涙しながら書くエントリーです。
(前フリ長い)
ちなみに花と蛇は見ていません(焦

下記内容はsayakiさんの内容からかなり離れていますが
私と緊縛について・・・

初めて緊縛を「見た」のは小学校四年生の時に見た無修正のアダルトビデオ。
どうしてあったのか・・・は公開出来ないが兎に角、私はビデオを手にした。
ラベルも何も無い、それはマスターテープのコピーだったのかもしれない。

性に目覚めたばかりの私は、ホラー映画を見る様に、
毛布を被って、昼間なのにカーテンをしめ部屋を暗くして凝視した。
全部で3本あった。
交尾をする様に男と女が交わっていたその画像をとても気持ち悪く思った。
女の陰部や男の陰部。
見慣れないその肉は本当に吐き気を覚えた。
けれど、女の乳房に見とれていたから、最後のビデオまで見ることが出来た。

そして、最後のビデオ。

女が縛られていた。
無機質の倉庫の様な部屋で。

―椅子に固定され、股を大きく広げられた女。
―女は逆さにされ天井から吊るされていた。
―花を活ける様に縄を掛け縛り上げていく男。

縄が蛇のように見えた。
生き物のように見えた。
触手の様な縄が、女の白い肌を絡め取る様に見え
――・・・妙に興奮した。
最後には気持ち悪さは消え去り見入っていた。
そして、何とも言えないモノを私の肝に残した。

何が良かったのか。
わからない。
とにかく、衝撃を受けた。

その後中学生頃に付き合った男に私は縛られた。
不思議な感覚に興奮した。
けれど、慣れると何か足りない事に気がついた。
その後別の男と付き合った時、機会あって縛る側になった。
初めての縛りは、綿ロープを相手の両手にぐるぐると縛る程度のものだった。
それだけなのに、指先から何者かが入り込み、
肉体を駆け巡ったかの様な奇妙で心地よい異物感と火照りを覚えた。
それが何なのかわからなかった。
それを知りたくなった私は縛る側に立った。

今、あの異物感と火照りはなんとなく理解できる。
縛るたびに私の体に入ってくる異物感は相手の魂だ。
相手が私の心に答え、行為を受け入れたその心がが―魂が。
見えない肉体をもって、私の指先から私の肉体に入り私の内部を満たす。
満たされた体内は相手の魂の熱をもって発熱する。

そして縛る度、抱きしめている様な感覚。
縄が私の手から相手の肌に触れゆく度
私の魂は細かく刻まれ、
私の魂は縄に込められる。
だから――
縛る度に私は抱きしめて居る様に感じるんだ。
だって其れは、私の細胞で出来たものに変わるから。

私は縛る事で、
体の隅々まできつく抱きしめている感覚に陥る。
縄を擬人化しその感覚を己とリンクさせているのだと思う。

そう言う擬人化した物質は私の身の回りにたくさん居て。
コルセットだったりキャットスーツだったりガスマスクだったり。
これらの物質は、抱きしめる・抱きしめられる感覚に似ている。

もう一人の私が。
君を絡め取る。

ちょっと真面目に書いてみました。

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  • 2005年10月21日 08:57

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トラックバックありがとうございました。
ネタになったようで良かったです。(笑)

>これらの物質は、抱きしめる・抱きしめられる感覚に似ている。
切にそう思いますね。
Mとしては縄の締め付けは単に痛みでなく愛撫なのです。
綿密に全てを縛られれば縛られるほど全てを求められているんだ、という感覚になります。
S側としては独占した気分もあるのではないでしょうか。

ぎゅぅと縛られたいです。
今のところ縁がありません。(笑)

  •   sayaki
  • 2005年01月29日 00:53

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